If you think of pick up artists as those sleazy guys in bars that have their shirts unbuttoned to their navel, sporting gold chains and a greasy ponytail, you’re way off base. Sure, those clowns exist, but they’re not pickup artists, they’re pickup failures. We’re not talking about losers who use canned lines that make women roll their eyes and run in the other direction. True pickup artists have mastered getting (and keeping) a woman’s interest, which makes them the perfect guys to consult when you’re looking to meet a fling.
 
 

Mastering the Approach of Pickup Artists

A great pickup artist will tell you that it’s possible to find flings anywhere if you approach them correctly. A lot of this depends on body language and confidence. You want to come across as strong and confident, but totally non-threatening and not pushy. If you see a girl on the street that you’d like to hook up with, don’t follow her down the sidewalk yelling after her. This will just give her the creeps. Say something to her, and then immediately stop walking. Stand still, right where you are, and give her the chance to stop or turn around and walk back to where you’re standing to talk to you. If you’re at a dog park, a bar, or anywhere else where people are fairly stationary, move into her vicinity before speaking to her, but don’t crowd her. If you shove your way into her personal space, she’ll likely feel uncomfortable and bolt. Wait until she’s responding to you to move in closer.
 

Make Real Conversation

Being flirtatious is good, but using cheesy, overdone lines is bad. One of the best ways to do that is to ask her a question about herself and then showing a genuine interest in her answer. If you pay attention to whatever she says in response, you can use it as a springboard for another question, and then offer her something related about yourself. This will build a sense of commonality that will make it a lot easier to lead her towards hooking up.
 

Use Touch to Your Advantage

Every skillful pickup artist will tell you that knowing how and when to touch a woman during a conversation is one of the best ways to build up the familiarity and intimacy that is necessary to get her into bed. The key is to start slowly, with casual brushes that seem accidental, or only the briefest, lightest touch of the arm. As you watch her body language and how she responds to these small touches, you’ll be able to figure out how far you can take it without making her uncomfortable. This also gives you a good idea about how open she’ll be to the suggestion to take it somewhere more private.
 

Be Confident and Nonchalant When Closing the Deal

When it comes time to seal the deal, whether that means getting a phone number or moving from the bar to your place, you need to strike a balance between being interested and chill about her response. You want to communicate that you’re into her and looking for a little casual sex, without seeming desperate. While enthusiasm turns women off, desperation and pushiness does the total opposite. Believe it or not, hinting around actually makes you appear more desperate, not less. Be direct. It can be intimidating if you aren’t used to it, but it exudes confidence and silently sends the signal that your world won’t collapse if she says no. Ironically, this makes her more likely to say yes!
 

The common thread between all of these tried and true pick up artist tips is that they all exude an air of confidence, which turns women on more than just about anything else. Remember Steve Carell’s character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin? While it may have been exaggerated for comedic value, the message was based in stereotypes that are true. If you are afraid to approach women and afraid to ask for what you want, you’re never going to get laid. Nothing turns women off faster than a guy who isn’t confident enough to ask directly for what he wants. This is true regardless of setting, whether you are trying to find a fling in person or on a casual dating site. Build up your confidence, or fake it till you make it, and the ladies will fall into your lap.