The Fling Dating Double Standard

The Fling Dating Double StandardDespite all of the advances in American society since the countries inception, there remains a double standard between men and women and the way they express sexuality. It isn’t a big surprise to any man born and raised in this country. We have been raised to believe women are softer, gentler creatures to be treated with respect and slight reverence. Recent generations have seen strong, capable women emerge from society and have learned that women are also formidable in every field. Yet even in the light of such information, we resort to ancient stereotypes when it comes to sexuality. Women are expected to be demure and secretive about their sex lives. She should only bold with her one and only man in the most intimate of moments. Men on the other hand, are free to do and behave as they please and never have to fear the effects on their career or marriage or business or social standing. It’s a lot of bull crap and we know it but it is also the way of current society. So why not take advantage of it?

Many people blame the American media for the fling dating double standard. Commercials, ads and music videos are rife with scantily clad women portrayed as less than the men around them. Music videos and lyric are notorious for portraying women in a bad light, especially rap and hip-hop music. The media is also responsible in that when a girl is subjected to a derogatory view of women for the entirety of their lives, they can’t view the word in any other way without considerable self-awareness and a resolution to change. When a woman is raised to think of herself as a thing of beauty first and all else second, she behave in that manner. Young girls often hide their intellect in favor of a dumber, prettier, perkier persona. Why? Not only were they taught to do it but men reward them for doing so. And so the myth perpetuates.

This double standard is never as apparent as in the sexual realm. Lesbian sex is considered sexy while sex between men is not. Two women in bathing suits in a close embrace is regularly accepted advertising on everything from potato chips to beer. There are no products that feature men holding each other closely in their underwear. Men are expected to be dominant in the bedroom, while women are permitted to be both, but only during sex is a woman given authorization. Women who are sexually active are promiscuous, whores and dirty girls whereas men are experienced and playboys.

Tests, research, polls and studies abound on the subject. We know it is it happening and why but not why it persists or if it will stop. Studies have shown us that women are finally gaining a more sexualized independence, a feat they have been trying to accomplish since the 1920’s. This is good news for men, especially men born in the last 30 to 40 years who tend to be less gender prejudice than older men. Women being more sexual liberal, bolder and more aggressive sounds like something we can all deal with. It is only a matter of time before women are socially accepted as being as sexual as men.

In the meantime, we can enjoy treating them with a bit of reverence, respect and a gentlemanly touch. Chivalry dies hard in those who excel in it. Many of us still enjoy opening doors and walking on the outside of the curb for the women we adore. Hopefully those small nuances will never leave societal rituals. In a way, they are part of our society themselves. They partially define who we are as a species for several hundreds of years. Is it possible to give women their sexual independence but still be in awe of the great sexual power they hold and the innate beauty they possess as women.

The double standard in fling dating can work to your advantage if you allow it. You don’t have to acknowledge its existence or play into it. It is simply a part of American society as it is. The key is to respect all women you have relationships with, even if it is just a fling. Women become far more giving and open when they feel respected. I’s a win/win situation. There are situations in which the double standard can bite us in the ass occasionally. Always being respectful pays off in cases like that, especially.

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